“I want to come home”. The words all parents fear. Most students feel homesick from time to time, especially in the first few weeks of college, but there are some who are just struggling to make the adjustment. They are often sad, isolating themselves, not participating in social events, having a hard time with the schoolwork and focused on what they are missing at home. There are some who express their homesickness by numbing themselves with alcohol or drugs. They go out quite frequently and drink to excess. Others try to control their environment because they feel so out of control with their emotions. Students may unconsciously start to try to manage their negative state of mind with harmful behaviors. They become irritable or moody, start limiting their eating, hurting themselves in various ways or develop more severe cases of OCD. These feelings are real and should not be ignored.
It is a real issue that colleges and universities are facing today. And one that college freshmen are feeling in full force. They have an expectation that college will be an amazing place where they meet lots of people, have fun, feel independent and embrace all the new challenges. For some students, college meets or exceeds those expectations and it is an amazing experience from day one. For others, it is overwhelming, difficult to make friends and the adjustment is more trying than they ever could have imagined. These students are stressed, anxious, depressed and losing self-confidence. The realization hits them that this particular school isn’t the right place for them and their first reaction is to want to go home.
Colleges and universities through freshmen seminars and activities are trying to ease the first year stress. They sponsor opportunities for freshmen to meet others with common interests and give them some of the tools they may need for college success. Unfortunately, for many it isn’t enough and the counseling centers become flooded with unhappy, anxious and stressed students cracking under the pressure to succeed socially and academically.
If you are one of these freshmen who are feeling very down, lonely and overwhelmed there are a few suggestions to help ease these feelings (as long as you aren’t in danger of hurting yourself or anyone else.)
- If you can stick with school for the whole semester (don’t forget there are breaks in between!), then do it! Remind yourself it is short-term, the end of the term will be here soon and you will receive the credits for the semester as long as you can pass your classes.
- Do things you enjoy! Whether it is working out, walking, drawing, writing, reading, watching TV or listening to music, allow time for these things to distract you and ease your sadness and anxiety. When we are sad, we often don’t engage in activities we like.
- Try to meet up with others for meals, studying or working out. Getting out of your room is important so you don’t isolate yourself. Even if these are not people you will ultimately be best friends with, it is critical to be out and about!
- Eat healthy meals, exercise and get enough sleep! Keeping your health for your mind and body helps to fight off stress and depression.
- Help others! When anyone feels down, we tend to focus on all the bad things about ourselves. If you find someone in need or do something nice for someone else for no reason, it takes the focus off of you and what you may be dealing with, even for a little while.
- Go to the campus counseling center to talk to a counselor. Always better to let someone know how you are feeling and have the opportunity to talk with someone who can be objective, supportive and encouraging!
